bongo282's Diaryland Diary

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Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

So I acted all cool when he (co-flirt) showed up at work tonight to do his other job, cleaning. I said hi and just kept taking phone calls like he was not even there. It worked because he asked me to take my break then. I was going to take it in 10 min anyway so I went early. He asked how I was doing and I said great and how are you feeling because I have not seen you since last Tues. night, he told me he was so sick. I joked around with him and said you just don't like to work with me anymore. He laughed and said your kidding right? I said kind of but not really and last Tues. he was acting really weird. He told me he was not feeling good then that's why. Ok so now do I trust that he is not lying to me? I have to beause at the end of our conversation and he was getting ready to leave he reached to hug me and he has never done that before. Men (and u know who u are) are the most confusing animals ever. I guess that's why there is a book out there called Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I know in my heart I have some kind of feelings for him but I can't show too much, and so it makes it really hard to express what I feel because I can't be honest with him and with myself. It would hurt too many people. So dreaming and only dreaming of having sex with him will have to do. Why the hell on earth did I get married again? I have been asking myself that ?? a lot lately. I love my husband don't get me wrong but sometimes I ?? that and think that I don't deserve him because I am thinking this way. I have been told by some people it is normal to feel that way sometimes. Oh well, we deal with life the only way we know how.
I spoke to my Dad for the first time since the day after my Uncle Paul's accident. We talked for about an hour and he sounds a lot better on the outside, but I can tell he is dying on the inside. My Uncle had his own business and so my Dad has to handle all of the mess he left behind. My Dad has his own business to, thank god he has a partner to help out during this time. We talked about a couple of other things too. It was good talking to him. My Mom is sick she won't go to the doctors so she is getting worse everyday. I think she is afraid of what else they may find. It sounds like she has pnumonia and it's sounds worse today then yesterday. I guess when I go up there for the 2nd search for my Uncle then if she is not feeling any better then I will insist that she go to the doctors.
Well, gotta get back to work. It's going to get busy soon and I want to be ready because as soon as 7:30 hits I am out of this shit hole. BYE BYE


PAM *

5:06 a.m. - 2007-03-13

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