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4:16 p.m. - 2003-06-04
My beliefs and other rantings...
Here we are, hump day. So I have and interview with a Customer Support center on Friday and I am nervous as hell. My husband tells me to just be myself, but thats the problem. If I am myself then I hope she doesn't know the fact that I am nervous. This will be a big jump for me because right now I am an admin asst. who doesn't really do much, but when I am busy, I am really busy. The saying when it rains it pours or feast or famine come to mind when I think about this job. Another reason why I want to make this move is because I need something a little bit more stimulating for my brain. I don't think enough here, and I am certainly not having fun. My boss and I really don't get along and I feel bad about that but I really try to be friendly with him and just doesn't want any of that. Well, that is not my fault. Also from day one I have really tried to fit in here, and that didn't happen either. I mean 2 guys started here way after me and they are fitting in just fine without any problems. What the fuck???? Oh well, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I am just happy to have a job.

Anywhoo, I went to my friends sisters funeral yesterday and It was sad but the service was really nice. I was raised Catholic, but I don't really go to church anymore, and the funeral I went to was a Baptist ceremony and I was suprised by how serious those people took their faith. I was not used to it and it was very moving. Her funeral not so much the service but her passing brought up some questions that I have that plague me. The one question that I guess will always be on my mind until it's my time is: What if when you pass your soul doesn't go to heaven or hell, it just goes nowhere?? I have believed in reincarnation and stuff like that but for some reason it just got me thinking, what will happen to me when I die?? I know it's kind of a morbid thought but sometimes I think about stuff like that. I am sure we all do, some of us more than others, you all know who you are. Sometimes I think, how will I die?? When will I die?? The only person who has the answer to that is the Big man upstairs. I could never kill myself because I am too much of a whimp. I mean what if I miss or I just hurt myself really bad. It just takes the element of siuprise out of the whole death thing. I mean if you are really ill, like with cancer or whatever then you kind of have an idea when, but you will never know the exact time or day. It will just happen, and when I go I want to go in my sleep, the less painful way.

Enough about the morbid thoughts of the day. So my next project is to book a trip to Aruba for November sometime. I love it there. My husband and I went there on our honeymoon and we had the best time. We also went last year too with my family which was fun because we went to the casino every night. I won like $2000 dollars and it's not taxable which is cool because when I went to the casino with my Mom in Feb. in Conn. it was taxable which sucks. Oh well, where was I, Oh yea Aruba...long lost daze and sigh... The water is so green and warm. I love it.

Well time to go. I have got to finish up some things before I go home for the day. Only 2 more days to go WWWWHHHOOO!!!!!!!!

Me*

 

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