Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2:46 p.m. - 2003-09-10
Family...Say no more!!!
I am so alone. I am not really, is anyone ever alone. I just feel like I am from all the shit that has been happening. We got a phone call last night from the brother-in-law and he decided that he is coming up from NC this weekend. There are many thoughts that are going through my mind and one of them is I really must get my phone shut off. Every time the fucking thing rings it's more bad news. Anyway, he called to tell my hubby that he was coming up with hubby's other younger brother. A little notice would have been great but no. Then my husband asked me if I mind. At the time a lot of things were going through my mind, and YES I mind is one of them. But the good wife I was said no I don't give a shit. So if that is what he wants? Now, he knows how I feel about his brother, and you don't put someone on the spot like that and ask something like that while they are on the phone. I felt like I had to say yes.

The other thing that came through my mind is here they come to pick up the money that they think they are borrowing. I have not told my husband yet because I am waiting to see exactly how much she is looking for, but I really don't see me lending any money to anybody ever again.

Hubby and I got into it at lunch today about his fucking family and he said he feels bad that they are his family because of everything that has happened. What am I supposed to say to that? I am sorry that they are your family? So I said the only thing I could, "they are your family and you won't turn your back on them so deal with it".

This is putting a serious strain on our marriage for a number of reasons. He promised me that his family would never come between us and it's started. He and I are supposed to be family and I feel like he is stepping all over me so he can help the other half of his family. I know that family is important but I am family too and I should be more important and my feeling should matter, but to me it seems like my feelings don't matter.

So I have decided that for his birthday he and his brothers can do something and I'll go play bingo or something because I really don't want to be there for that. He wants them there though and I guess that's what matters. I have a feeling that sooner or later his family will come between us and that's the sad fact. I can always go back to my Mom's house until I find a job and find a place to live. Maybe I am supposed to be alone in life. It was nice while it lasted though. He was someone I have loved for a long time and I got to be with him for a little while. He was my dream guy for a long time, and I got to have him, but all good things must come to an end.

So, on a different note for shits and giggles I had my site reviewed and it's right here:

REVIEW .

I was shocked. I was expecting them to say it sucked, but I was happy.

Well, I really must go back to work. Bye for now

Me :o**

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!