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2:46 p.m. - 2003-09-10 The other thing that came through my mind is here they come to pick up the money that they think they are borrowing. I have not told my husband yet because I am waiting to see exactly how much she is looking for, but I really don't see me lending any money to anybody ever again. Hubby and I got into it at lunch today about his fucking family and he said he feels bad that they are his family because of everything that has happened. What am I supposed to say to that? I am sorry that they are your family? So I said the only thing I could, "they are your family and you won't turn your back on them so deal with it". This is putting a serious strain on our marriage for a number of reasons. He promised me that his family would never come between us and it's started. He and I are supposed to be family and I feel like he is stepping all over me so he can help the other half of his family. I know that family is important but I am family too and I should be more important and my feeling should matter, but to me it seems like my feelings don't matter. So I have decided that for his birthday he and his brothers can do something and I'll go play bingo or something because I really don't want to be there for that. He wants them there though and I guess that's what matters. I have a feeling that sooner or later his family will come between us and that's the sad fact. I can always go back to my Mom's house until I find a job and find a place to live. Maybe I am supposed to be alone in life. It was nice while it lasted though. He was someone I have loved for a long time and I got to be with him for a little while. He was my dream guy for a long time, and I got to have him, but all good things must come to an end. So, on a different note for shits and giggles I had my site reviewed and it's right here: REVIEW . I was shocked. I was expecting them to say it sucked, but I was happy. Well, I really must go back to work. Bye for now Me :o**
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