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11:37 a.m. - 2003-11-12 When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.~~ Alexander Graham Bell I have not written in here for a couple of days because I was afraid of what might come out on paper. I have been happy, sad and pissed off all at one time and it�s really confusing to me. I was not feeling well this weekend due to the female problem and when that is going on I am super emotional. Well, I was hoping to have these feelings sort out by now but we all know how that goes. Yesterday it got worse. I was on the phone with my Mom and we started talking about my husband�s lack of sensitivity to any part of his family. She is pissed off at the fact that he moved me down here. I tried to explain to her that I asked him to bring me with him, but she doesn�t get that. All she sees is he took me away so he could have me all to himself. You know what? In a way I think she is right. When he lost his job we had the opportunity to go back up to Mass. and he told me if that was the case then I was going alone. Now for the sake of our marriage I stayed with him down here and tried to make a life for us. I am not complaining by any means, but on the same token I moved down here for him and the least he could have done was compromise and gone back up there with me. He makes it very clear though that he was coming down here with or with out me. My Mom and I also touched on the fact that he is very selfish, and I notice this more and more everyday. Perfect example, we went to go get window blinds last night at Blinds to Go and I wanted to go to at Best Buy to look and maybe buy a digital camera. When we got there he complained that he wanted the $1500.00 camera and I just wanted one that will take pictures. Thank god they were not in stock yet, but then he said to me �well, I still have to look at John Deere tractors so maybe we can think about the camera later�. I just got pissed and was quiet for the rest of the evening, but that upset me because when we buy something it�s always what he wants and not what I suggest. I mean I got him his $2000.00 guitar and he is still not happy. That�s another thing that has been bothering me lately. He used to do things around the house like vacuum, dishes and take the trash out, but ever since he got that guitar that�s all he does. He comes home and play�s all night. I said to him this morning � I took the trash out because it was overflowing�, and he said, �well you should have yelled for me I would have taken care of it�. I said, �yea right�. I say that because had asked him earlier that night to take care of it and he didn�t. I just don�t know how much longer I can do this. I love him but at what cost to myself. My Mom said to me yesterday that it really stinks that we don�t do stuff like a normal couple. I told her it�s because I am an adult and it�s my life too so I am going to do what I want to do. I am not afraid of telling him what I am going to do and if he doesn�t like it then too bad. I am not going to miss out on something just because he doesn�t want to do something. So that�s why I am going up to visit the family for Thanksgiving this year by my self. I am not selfish and I love my family. It�s not my fault that my husband is a selfish little boy who thinks nothing of anybody and everything about himself. Well, on that note I need to get going and finish my work before lunch. Someone arrived here searching for: The Bachelor ( go figure )
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