2:42 p.m. - 2004-03-09
A cry for HELP!!!!
I am here and that�s about it. The same old shit different day. I am so afraid of going back to the way I used to be. Being depressed all the time is really not the way I want to live my life, but I feel myself falling back into the old way of things and it scares me. I am still working and the same god forsaken place and it sucks. I know you should not base your life on your job or your personage on that either, but when you spend so much time at work you should have some kind of fulfillment. I just don�t get that here. I am also not getting that at home either. My husband is so stuck on himself and all he cares about is his work and his issues that he doesn�t want to hear about my problems. I should have never moved down here to begin with. I should have stayed where I was. Don�t get me wrong I love my husband and everything, I am just sad that I feel this way. Now I am done ranting.

So that job I went for a couple of weeks ago is open again. The girl who got it quit it a week and 2 days later. She said that she is doing something else that God has told her to do. Ok whatever. I also found out that they are going back into the pool of candidates that applied for it to begin with. I have not heard anything yet so I guess I will have to wait and see. I am confused though. In a way I want to send him an e-mail and let him know I am still interested in the job, but I don�t want to come off too pushy. Someone help me !!! Please send me a note of what you think I should do. I am just so impatient with everything that I can�t wait to find out what will happen. I don�t want him to think I am not still interested in the job. If this job doesn�t pan out I will definitely be looking for something else. I was trying to put it off and wait until I had 5 years under my belt, but that�s not until November and I can�t wait that long. So please if anyone could help me I would be willing to listen. HELP!!!!

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