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10:47 a.m. - 2004-03-31 I have been saying this quote for a long time now and I understand it better everyday. I am bored to death here and there is no end in sight. The job I applied for was given to a kiss ass and she just happens to be internal, so I was told that they have to hire their internal people first. I am internal too but I don�t work for the company I applied to. I am what they call a contractor. I did see another job that I may be interested in but I held off in applying for it. I had heard that the manager in that department was a total asshole. I stopped him in the hallway yesterday and we had a good conversation about the position and in the end he had told me to send him my resume. May be a good thing, anything is better then sitting here not doing a dam thing. I know there would be a lot of people who would kill for my job, but I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be busy than do nothing all day. The days just run right into each other when the time goes slow. I remember the days when I was so busy that I would have to stay late sometimes and come in on Sat. to catch up. I miss those days. I am in Culpeper and we also have a site in Manassas, which is 45min away from here. Since I have been here I have had an issue with one of the guys here. I have spoke about him in the past. Well, about a month ago he was told he would be at the Manassas site until he is told otherwise. So now my job is a lot better without him here. The only problem is that I know he will be back and I don�t want to be here for that. I need to clear something up for myself and the few readers I have. It�s not that I don�t love my husband, because I do. I guess I am just having a tough time down here in Virginia. Being from Ma. and all, it was a big transition for me, and I am still trying to find my way. I am lost and when you feel this way you tend to be down about everything in your life. I guess that�s how I have been feeling lately. I just feel bad about stuff I have said about him, but I can�t help the way I feel. He can be so loving sometimes, and other times he can be so selfish that I can�t even look at him. It�s not like I can talk to my Mom about this because she will just tell me to come home and she will take care of me, and to me that�s not the answer. I am not the type of person to give up so easily so I will stick it out down here for a little while longer, then and only at the point of no return I will put my foot down and ask that we relocate to Ma. again. I am just afraid that he will not come with me. He has told me many times that he doesn�t like it up there, but if I am not happy then I need to make some adjustments. Only time will tell. Well, I am going to pretend to be doing something. Bye for now!! Me :o)**
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