2:43 a.m. - 2004-06-28
Must of got lost--somewhere down the line!!!
I am still awake! I lay in bed for a half hour waiting for sleep to come and take me. It never came, so here I sit writing in my space hoping it will come a little bit easier than sleep did (not). Today was a quiet day sort of. I did laundry and sat around and watched Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, and I have to say if you have 3 hours and 15 minutes to spare it�s worth it. Watch the first 2 first. Then I tried to get the blood flowing into my eyes first and took a shower. Ran to the store, and then came home hoping to find my husband naked. He didn�t let me down. More on that in a minute.

I have been plagued with a lot of stuff lately and I have to get it out. First things first, I have a gambling problem. I don�t like to admit to my problems but I have made a decision that I am only buying my cards and that�s it. No more of the pull-tab tickets. I am addicted to them, but I love bingo and when I first started playing this game that�s what it was for the fun, and now I have made it into a problem. This is the easiest of my problems to overcome.

The next problem is I need to get a job. Since I got laid off I have put on some weight and I am sick of saying poor me all the time when there are other people out there who have it worse than I do. I have an ok life, or at least I thought I did, but lately I feel like my husband has been cheating on me with someone at work. Weird things have been happening that I can�t explain that make me feel this way or maybe because I was cheated on before and I won�t be able to handle it if it is true again. It started out on Wed night when he said he had to work late. I didn�t think anything of it because sometimes he does. The next night I wanted to give him a blowjob and he told me he was too tired. Then some one from his work # called here. I didn�t get to the phone in time to pick it up and no one left a message. He was out a long time and he said he was coming back soon. 3 hours later he returned saying he saw a lot of people he knew from work and talked to them. Usually when I go to bingo he stays home and plays his guitar. When I called him at 9:30 that evening he was not home and he didn�t pick up his cell phone. He called me from his cell and said he was at the store. He got home before I did, and I met him there and saw him for 2 minutes before he had to go back out again to meet a friend who had broke down. I think the guy needed a ride home because he was too drunk and he didn�t think he could drive. Smart guy!! Well, he lost his cell and he thought he left it over his friend�s house, and well now that I think about it he must have because he called me with it when he was at the store and it went missing after. He really left it over his friend�s house. Don�t I feel stupid? I guess that is another one of my problems, I feel like I can�t trust anyone. I really have to work on that too I guess.

I am getting sleepy now. I guess good sex will do that to you. He made me cum 2 times tonight. Once while he was fucking me and then he rubbed my clit for a while and well it happened again. Good night and sweet dreams!!

Me =]:o**

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