2:00 a.m. - 2006-08-18
IIIII'MMMM BBBBBAAAACCCKKK!!!!!
Well, it has been quite awhile but I am going to start this again. I have decided to send my real Dad this letter:
August 17, 2006

Dear Dad (sperm donar),

How do you start a letter like this? I guess by asking if you could possibly have a 33 year old daughter named Pam? If not then I am sorry for wasting your time, but if so then how should I continue?
I will start by saying that I was curious about you and your whereabouts. I have wondered since I was 5. Was it something that I did? I stay up nights wondering what I could have done wrong, but it was such a long time ago that it escapes me. Reducing my life to a few paragraphs would probably due. I am afraid to tell you anything for fear that you are not my father or don�t want to be my father. Either way I am baring my soul to a perfect stranger and that�s not the reason why I am writing. I am not writing because I want to start a relationship or interrupt your life. I just wanted to let you know I turned out okay and don�t think anything bad of you.
I have so many things that I want to say to you and if you don�t want to hear them I understand. I have wanted to write you for many, many years now and I think I need closure because I never got to say goodbye to you. It hurt me that you didn�t want to see me again, and I felt abandoned. Can you explain to me why? I know I could have tried to find you a while ago, I just felt that you wanted me to stay gone. Well, now I am getting up the courage to write you this letter because after all these years I was interested in finding out more about my family history. I always wonder if you think about me at all, and if you have ever tried to find me.
I hope to hear from you if not I will take it as a sign that you are not interested in me and my life and we can just leave it at that. I took the time to write to you. Maybe you can do the same.

Best Regards,
Me**

What do you think? Should I send it or not?

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